Food-ness and Other Updates

It's been about a week since I posted which isn't that horrible, but I'll admit, I haven't exactly been posting information-filled posts lately. So I'm going to attempt to make up for that with this post. By the way, I'm pretty sure it is going to be food themed.

For My Viewing Pleasure
What exactly have I been up to lately? Honestly? Not that much. I've been cooking a bit. I've been grocery shopping a bit. I've been watching Project Runway a bit... Thrilling, isn't it?

Randomly, can I just say how much I enjoy Project Runway? I started watching it last season when the only thing on one weekend was a marathon. And I got hooked. I just watched season two this week. Actually, I started it Tuesday and finished it Wednesday. Not my smartest move since finishing it Wednesday night meant I ended up going to bed after 1. But I couldn't not finish it. So yeah.

Not that you particularly care about my TV viewing (though if you did, I'd share that I find Glee fun/funny but PR makes me happy). In all honesty, I'm really not watching that much TV. Though hockey is finally here so that should change. Go Ducks! The Blues' first game was Friday (they won) and the Ducks yesterday (they lost). But still, hockey - very exciting!

But on to more exciting stuff: food!

I Heart Food
Can I say that I just love Central Market? Flitting around their produce department is kind of like a kid being let loose in a candy store. Except I'm getting old and the candies are all fruits and stuff. But yeah.

I keep finding weird stuff at Central Market that I just have to try so I get some and bring it home then search through the Joy of Cooking to see what on earth I'm going to do with it.

For instance, I got an eggplant a few weeks ago. No clue what to do with it. But there was a recipe for Baked Eggplant in the Joy of Cooking. So sure, why not?

Baked Eggplant, slightly adapted

It was good. I've even made it again.

Pepino Melon
This melon was a random CM purchase because it just looked to wacky not to get. It's not that large - about the size of an apple - and it has stripes. What's not to love?

This is a Pepino Melon

Okay, well, I don't so much love the taste. It's not bad. Just weird. It tastes like a cucumber that has an apple grandmother. With a little texture of a great-grandpa pear.

Don't get me wrong, I like cucumbers. But can't just sit there and eat them. The must be in something or garnish or something. Something must be done to give them more tastes. That's kind of what's going on with this melon. It's got a more fibrous texture (thanks great-grandpa pear) with a little additional tart/sweet (grandma apple) to make it something other than a funny colored cucumber.

Ultimately, I think this needs to be chopped up and put in a salad or used to flavor a slaw or something. It's just a bit unexciting all by its lonesome.

Black Garlic
Ah, Central Market's marketing works. I decided to give black (fermented) garlic a shot.

Black Garlic
(not my picture)

So far I haven't done anything with it other than eat a small clove but I have plans. Unfortunately, those plans keep changing so I've not quite settled on one, but it looks like a topping or sauce for noodles might be the winner.

I'm actually pretty excited to cook with it. It's very different. It tastes a bit like Hoisin sauce, probably because of the strong garlic flavor Hoisin sauce tends to have. Texture wise, the cloves are a bit like dried plums - a little sticky/juicy but overall firm and held together. It's smoother, though, and consistent throughout. It's got a sweet taste of mellowed garlic (though still a lot of garlic - but not overpoweringly garlic like raw or dried garlic)and soy sauce and maybe a little sugar. Which is what makes me think it will go well with noodles.

Corn
The only food right now not on my happy list is corn. Looks like I'm allergic to it. Seriously.

I knew I was allergic to xanthan gum. Mom and I (finally) figured out what was causing all my headaches after I ate in her gluten-free household when my throat started swelling just a wee bit after I ate a cake with lots of xanthan gum in it. I cut xanthan gum out of my diet and the number of headaches and migraines I end up with drastically reduced.

Then I start eating less processed foods for a bit and I start having issues when I do eat those processed foods. Was it because of the processing or was it because of the wheat? Maybe I had Celiac? (At the time, I hadn't found a non-processed bread so I ended up unintentionally avoiding wheat - except for when I ate something processed like a box meal or fast food). Well, finally finding a good bread and not reacting to that pretty much ruled wheat out as the problem for me. So it must be just overly processed stuff, right?

Well, sort of.

A lot of people (apparently) that are allergic to xanthan gum are also allergic to corn to varying degrees. So I decided to test out that theory. At this point, I'm pretty much reacting to anything corn or with a corn-derived product in it except MAYBE cornstarch.

Corn is not my friend. This makes me sad because I like corn. But corn does not like me. Corn is mean to me.

On the plus side (sort of), knowing I need to eliminate corn and corn-derived products from my diet pretty much guarantees I'm sticking to my low-processed, natural diet. Because everything freakin' has corn in it.

Seriously. Check out some ingredients list and see all the corn. Ascorbic acid, high fructose corn syrup (also known as glucose-fructose), sorbitol, MSG, mono- and di-glycerides, dextrin, maltodextrin, xanthan gum... all of these things are corn-derived. So basically, chances are good that if I don't make it from scratch or find it in the expensive "natural" or "organic" section of the grocery store, it's got something it in I'm most likely to react to.

Celiac Goodness
Okay, so avoiding corn has made me a picky grocery shopper. But the good news is, I still get to eat bread. Yay!

There is a gene study being done by the University of California on Celiac disease. My mom (having Celiac) was involved and, when they got another round of grants, volunteered me to take part as well. It's nothing big - I just get tested for Celiac disease through blood tests and then they also check to see if I carry the two genes they have identified as being Celiac-related.

Well, it will be almost a year before I get the results of the gene test back but I did get the blood test back. Negative! YAY!

I had been tested before, but it is nice to have it in black and white that wheat is still my friend.

As for the gene test, my mom tested positive for one of the genes and my dad tested negative for both. With that combo, I think it works out to be less than a 5% chance I'll have one of the genes. Fingers crossed!

Kitties
I don't think I can have a post this freakin' long and not mention the kitties. Though everyone is doing well and there's been nothing really going on with the little furry beasts so I don't have that much news to share. So instead, I will share cuteness.

Cute Chloe Lips

Cocoa is trying very hard to ensure that the box side stays pushed out.

Puuuuuuuush

Collapsed boxes aren't comfy to sleep in.

I appreciate the irony of this picture.

Sammy

Should it tickle me so much?

And that's pretty much it, there's my catch-up, I'm-sorry-I'm-a-boring-updater post.

Makes random YouTube videos almost preferable, doesn't it?

On Ducks and Monkey Pants

Duckie Stuff: YAY! The Ducks finally won a game! They finally have one in the "win" column. They finally have a point! You can't see me, but I'm doing a little happy dance!

Mind you, 1-4 is not a record to be happy with. But it is so, so much better than 0-4. So I dance.

This is really the first game that I've been able to give my full attention to and I admit, I was looking for whatever was going on that made the Ducks start the season off so poorly. Aside from way too many trips to the penalty box, there wasn't anything that really stuck out. Now, the heavy penalties they kept taking did get me a little ticked, but you know, that's not all that unusual for the Ducks - they've always been tops in the league for penalty minutes. Looks like this season is shaping up to be no different. Other than that, there was nothing that screamed "I am the problem - I am why the Ducks keep losing!" so I guess the Ducks saying that they were putting in the effort and doing the right things but it just wasn't coming together were right. Or else whatever was the problem was fixed so it didn't show up in tonight's game. The Sharks pretty much dominated according to stats during the game, but ultimately the score is what counts, so whatever.

There were a few fights (Parros even drew blood from Shelley), some good saves by Giguere, not quite enough defense for me (but nothing too bad), and a lovely breakaway by Sammy Paulson that made me happy (and resulted in a goal). And it was a shut-out for Giguere, so yay all around! I'm happy!

Another thing that made me happy (and is probably the real reason for the Ducks' win) was Chris Pronger turning up clean shaven.

Say "Bye-bye" to the Beard

Now, I'm totally anti-beard, but I just really am not a big fan of seeing them outside the playoffs. Shoot, I'm not even a big fan seeing them in the playoffs. But for post-season hockey, I deal.

Anyway, congratulations to Chris Pronger's razor for winning the game against the Sharks tonight!

Monkey Pants: In other news, I am sick. I'm 99% sure I got it from work and I think Dan is coming down with it now. It's this weird virus thing. I say weird because it is hard to say exactly what is wrong. I go from burning up to freezing cold, my temperature keeps going up and down and last night I was having some really weird dreams/hallucinations about pants not fitting or something that was vital to tell Dan, but when I was able to tell him this oh so important information, he just ended up laughing at me.

Anyway, I went home from work early yesterday and only managed to swing a couple of hours at work today before I had to come home and die. But about 6pm tonight, my fever broke (again) but this time it seems to be sticking so hopefully I'm over the worst part.

But until I feel 100%, I will continue to wear my fleece monkey pants.

Monkey Pants!

Seriously, how awful are these? Bright green, fleece and monkeys! I love them! They are my ultimate I-need-cuddles-because-I-feel-wretched pj pants. So I will keep wearing them and my Blues shirt circa 1990 that I stole from Dan when we started dating until I feel like I'm ready and able to rejoin the land of the non-infections.

Until then, please slather yourself in Purell after finishing my blog.

Thank you.

Eeeeeewwww!

No pictures in this post and you'll be thankful for that when you hear what it is about.

Monday night I burned the everlovin' monkey out of my thumb when I was steaming green beans. So yeah, steam burn. I spent a good 5 hours with my hand on ice and all mustard'ed up and the next day with the mustard. So anyway, my thumbs are sensitive, especially the right one that got burned the worst (and over the largest area).

But the fun part came yesterday. My skin started tearing off. EEEWWW! And ouch, but mostly EEEWWW! I guess the steam caused a blister and now the top of the blister is coming off? Very not cool.

I wasn't even going to post about it because, honestly, if I posted about every time I got burned or some other minor injury, I'd have the worlds longest (and most boring) blog ever (though that last bit is probably debatable anyway). But the gooey skin melting off.... Now that's post-worthy.

See, aren't you glad there aren't pictures?

One of THOSE Days

Okay, I realize it is still early yet, but I'm about ready to write today off.

First off, I woke up late after having weird dreams (something about an organizational guru sending her little minions after a mechanic - I think I need to limit my caffeinated teas to before lunch) and I can barely stumble through making Dan's lunch. Thank goodness he realized I didn't put a spoon in and grabbed one because I really wouldn't want him to have to eat the casserole I made yesterday with his fingers.

Anyway, I laid down on the couch to see if I couldn't wake my brain up (or get my body to fall back to sleep - neither happened) and Happy kept growling at me! Sigh. She's not feeling well at all because she had her rabies shot yesterday. Of course the whole vet thing freaked her out anyway, but the rabies shot always seems to knock them for a loop. So she's been camped out on the couch (hasn't moved from the afghan since yesterday evening as far as I can tell) and didn't want to share with me at all.

Puny Happy

Is there anything worse than have a puny kitty holding a grudge against you? Well, apparently yes, and that happened after my shower.

I took my shower and was feeling all clean, toasty warm and finally a little awake. I got dressed then went to open the living room blinds (yes, if you see my blinds closed during the day, you know I'm still in my pjs. I'll take the garbage to the curb in my robe but insist the blinds be closed until I'm dressed for the day). Anyway, I opened the first one blind and moved to open the second when I suddenly felt something cold and mushy squishing between my toes. UGH! I stepped right in cold kitty puke. Barefoot! UGH! Just thinking about it makes me want to wash my feet again. That right there kind of put the topper on my day. Sigh.

So to make myself feel better (after thoroughly washing my foot off), I decided to give myself a pedicure.

Pedicure for me!

Yeah, so I guess the day won't have been a total loss.

(ETA: I would also like to point out that I've posted at least once a day everyday since the 27th (if you include the no-post post). I guess I really am feeling better! I think I count myself fully healed (thought I wouldn't mind the scars going away now)).

Interesting Stuff (Maybe)

Well, at least I think this post contains interesting stuff. Readers might not agree. Read it anyway.

Cattle-goodness
First off, last weekend Dan and I went with my parents to a Ranch Rodeo.

Dan, Mom and Dad at the Ranch Rodeo

A Ranch Rodeo is different from a Professional Rodeo in a good number of ways but I think just a few of them are worth mentioning (though maybe if I knew more about any type of rodeo, I would think others more worth mentioning). First off, there are different events. For instance, instead of Team Roping, Ranch Rodeos have Team Doctoring. The two events are similar in what is required, however the Team Doctoring is directly based on what happens on an actual ranch when there is sick cattle.

The Team Doctoring Event

Secondly, there are some events that are the same, but they have different rules. There is Bronc Riding in both Ranch and Professional Rodeos, but in the Ranch version of the event, the riders are allowed to grab on with both hands and can hang on to the saddle. It more copies the event of a rider being on a runaway horse.

Lastly, all participants in the rodeo must be employed on a working ranch. I'm not sure how long a participant is required to work at the ranch before they are eligible for the rodeo, but it is my understanding that there is some sort of limitation to prevent professional rodeo cowboys from hiring on at a ranch short term just to enter and win the rodeo.

Anyway, the rodeo was really fun. The last event was probably the most entertaining: Wild Cow Milking. Yes, seriously. The video will take a bit to load, but give it a shot. It's, well, weird.

There was also Bronc Riding, Team Doctoring, Calf Branding (don't worry - chalk dust was used), and Team Penning. And a good time was had by all!

The conclusion of Team Penning

Calf Branding - with chalk

Health-goodness
Well, after being back at work for just a hair under 2 months, I thought everything was basically over, but it was not to be so. On Monday I was informed by HR in Chicago that I was to go back on leave effective immediately. It has to do with the pain I still get in my side when I overdo it. Which isn't a problem for my actual job, but is a problem for my job duties on paper. So I'm on forced leave and had to open up another short-term disability claim. Hopefully that will be approved soon. No idea how long this is going to take.

I had to go to the doctor to get a note for the short-term disability leave and he prescribed a patch - Licoderm, I think it is - to help numb the pain. Well, yeah, it numbs the pain, but then I push too hard and right now I have an ice pack wrapped around my side because of bad cramps. Looks like I need to talk to my GI that did the surgery (as suggested by my GP). Sigh. Is being healthy too much to ask?

Well, that's all for now. I'm sure there will be more later, who know. Until then, enjoy the Wild Cow Milking video up above again. And be thankful you don't have to do that.

Promises, Promises

Okay, so a couple of posts ago, I promised some pictures. Of course, I also said that I'd probably get them up in October. Well, lookie here - September 15 and here they are. This will cover a few unrelated topics (and not all of them in anything close to a timely manner) but that's what happens when I slack this long with blogging. So, without further ado, stuff!

Hiatal Hernia
You know, for the first little bit after my diagnosis, Dan kept singing Weird Al's "Living With a Hernia". Sigh.

So, what, you may ask, exactly is a hiatal hernia? Well, here's what the Mayo Clinic has to say about hiatal hernia and a little diagram:

Your chest cavity and abdomen are separated by your diaphragm — a large dome-shaped muscle that's responsible for a good part of normal breathing. Your esophagus passes into your stomach through an opening in the diaphragm. Hiatal hernias occur when the muscle tissue surrounding this opening becomes weak and the upper part of your stomach bulges through the diaphragm into your chest cavity.

Hiatal Hernia

And according to my GI, there is a nerve that runs near your esophagus that can be affected by hiatal hernia. And guess what that nerve controls? Lots of stuff, including heart rate. So now that my hernia is all fixed, my heart arrhythmia is going away! Seriously, how cool is that?

And just 'cause it is neat, I'm posting the pics from my endoscopy that revealed the hiatal hernia. The GI showed me where the hernia was, but honestly, who can honestly read these pictures without a medical degree?

My former hiatal hernia

Reunion-y Goodness
I know I've already mentioned this before, but it's my blog, so I'll be repetitive if I want to. Dan and I spent almost a week in the mountains of North Georgia last month. Not like wandering around the mountains like Grizzly Adams or anything, but at Vogel State Park, in a lovely little cabin that had running water and a/c.

Me and Dan at Vogel

Our cabin

While we were there, we also got to visit Dad's alma mater, North Georgia College. Well, now it is North Georgia College and State University. It's a really pretty campus.

Price Hall at NGC

The top of Price Hall is covered in gold from Dahlonega, Georgia, the city the college is in. Dahlonega is pretty much the site of the first US gold rush and has very high quality gold. Very pure. Aren't you glad you know that?

The mountains of North Georgia

And, of course, the main reason we went to Georgia: Family!

Family Reunion

The family reunion was on Saturday and on Sunday a few of us went up to Brasstown Bald, the highest point in Georgia. We also ran down the top of the mountain in a rainstorm, but that's a whole 'nother story that I'm sure I'll post when I finally finish that scrapbooking layout and post pictures.

Corrie, Dan, Dad, Mom and Steven on top of Brasstown Bald

Scrapbooking Fun
Okay, not much for this section, but still - my blog, so...

I've started a general scrapbook. I've got a kitty scrapbook that I'm working on, but other than that, I typically do trip scrapbooks. Japan 2003, Hawaii, etc. But there are lots of neat things that happen in our life that I want to remember (and lots of scrapbooking toys I want to play with), so I'm doing a "Dan and Me" kinda scrapbook. Just stuff that we've been up to - trips that aren't big enough to get their own scrapbook and other little events that happen. So far, I've only done one page, but I've got four 2-page layouts from the Georgia trip that I've been working on and will post when I'm done.

Anyway, this is the first page I did. My mother-in-law (who finds that coolest scrapbooking stuff!) sent me both the paper and the Cardinals patch, which is what inspired me to do this page and even start the general scrapbook. So thank you, Claudia! I think the page turned out quite nicely.

Play Ball

In case you were wondering, when Dan and I were in St. Louis for his cousin's wedding, we went to a St. Louis Cardinals game.

The text says:

My first Major League baseball game in I don't know how long and my first chance to see Dan's beloved St. Louis Cardinals.

Well, apparently the Cardinals aren't all that good. They lost to the Houston Astros a whopping 10 to 0. Ouch.

At least the winning team was from Texas.

Fin
Well, that's all the babble and picture-posting I have in me right now. I'm feeling much better so I'm anticipating more frequent posts and that they even be picture filled. Okay, maybe not filled. But pictures will be present!

Update-y Goodness

(Pictures to be added later - though with my current update frequency, that means October).

So a couple of weeks ago, Dan and I went to Georgia for the third biennel Crook Family reunion. We stayed at Vogel State Park, as did the family that came to the reunion. I think both Dan and I fell in love with the Georgia moutains. So pretty. I'll post some pictures later (when I'm not at work on my lunch break) that show of the area.

Right now I'm working on scrapbooking pages for the trip. I've decided to do a "general life" scrapbook in addition to the kitty scrapbook I've been working on. So far it is turning out very nicely. Once I fully finish a page, I'll post some pictures.

Health-wise I am doing better. Still not at 100% but I finally feel better now than I did before the whole ambulance, ER, and surgery stuff happened. Still can't eat normally, either. That's starting to get really old. I even have some hiatal hernia pictures (not of mine - diagrams, really) that I keep meaning to post but haven't. I think I might put them up, though it is a little late at this point, yeah?

One final update. Princess is dying. She's been doing poorly for a while now. She's lost a lot of weight and isn't eating. We've done the vet visits, IV fluids and whatnot but nothing has helped. She's basically just done. She's currently not in any pain, though and still interacting with me and Dan, so we aren't going to put her down. Yes, she is dying. Yes, she is not healthy. And yes, she is weak. But shoot, I spent 2 years unhealthy and weak (and everyone is technically dying really) and no one put me down. So as long as she is still getting something good out of life, we are going to keep her around. Anyway, the whole thing is really upsetting. She's become such a wonderful and sweet (though only to Dan and me) kitty, my heart is just breaking as I watch her waste away.

Anyway, that's what's going on in life. Pictures will be posted at some point so I can get back to the visually interesting blog format. Well, at least it is a format that is interesting to me. Not sure about all you other people, but really, this is my blog. So there.

Yes, I'm still alive

Despite rumors to the contrary, I am actually still alive.

This week is my second week back to work and I just don't have much energy. Last week was REALLY rough, this week so far has only been fairly rough. Though there are two more days.

Brief updates:
Healing from surgery. Too lazy to post pictures that I would normally post about hiatal hernias and the surgery they did. Sorry. Stomach still scarred. I still have pain. Still have problems eating. Lost almost 15 pounds. Back to my wedding weight of 122 but so not the way I would prefer to do it.

Ashes and Princess turned 16 today. Sweet sixteen! Princess is not doing well at all. She's lost a lot of weight. We've taken her to the vet, but there's really nothing they can do. She's basically starving herself and if she doesn't stop it, organs will start failing. I hope she gets better, but I don't think she will. She's turned into quite the sweetheart this past year.

Dan and I have been married 5 years as of last week. Wild that it's been that long. And I'm still alive. Though based on the attitude I've been running around with after being so exhausted from work (okay, running is so not the right word because sometimes it still hurts to walk, but anyway), it is possible that Dan will still decide to off me and put me out of his misery.

Aside from Princess, the other kitties are doing good. Cocoa is fat. Like, huge. The cat with no teeth is the heaviest one. What is wrong with that picture?

Yeah, that's all the updates I have right now. I'm sure there is more but my brain is the consistency of oatmeal and has about as much coherent thought. More when I can.

*Groan*

Yes, it is 3am and I'm online. I can't sleep anymore right now. Napped during the day and am fairly uncomfortable. So I thought that I would post an update since I am finally up to sitting and walking.

First off, I am miserable. Miserable. But thankfully "miserable" is tons better than "Death warmed over", which is where I was at before.

I had the surgery to fix my hiatal hernia Wednesday and was released from the hospital Thursday afternoon. My whole torso is bumpy and swollen, it hurts every time I drink anything and just the thought of solid food makes me feel like throwing up. I'm also still suffering from all the gas they put inside me to perform the surgery, so my muscles are sore, I keep burping and passing gas (just what you wanted to know, right?), and when I feel nauseous, I don't throw up so much as dry-heave out more air.

My left hand is swollen where the IV "infiltrated" and a little further up the arm is bruised and tender from the first two unsuccessful IV's they tried to put in me. And my shoulder are sore from where the gas decided to camp out. I also feel like I have an icepack permanently attached to my body. Though at this point, that's not a bad thing.

All I can think about is that this pain must be similar to the after-effects of gastric bypass or lap band surgery. I can't imagine going through this willingly. At this point, I can't help but think that the cure is worse than the disease. I am sure that if I ever feel normal again, I will happy that I am hernia-less, though.

Anyway, about the hernia, the doctor said that the opening in my diaphragm was twice the size it should have been. Suck, huh? Also, apparently that sort of thing is genetic. My dad's dad had a hiatal hernia, so looks like that is where I got it from.

Have I posted before what they do during the surgery? First, they close up the hole in my diaphragm to the correct size, then disconnect my stomach from my spleen (there are some veins going from stomach to spleen), then they take part of the stomach and wrap it around to make like a washer so the stomach can't pull through the hole in the diaphragm again. Fun, huh? To accomplish all this, they cut me open in 5 different places around my stomach so my torso is all lumpy underneath the places. There is also swelling, particularly of the hole in my diaphragm, and that swelling restricts my esophagus meaning that I have trouble eating. It should take about 4 weeks for the swelling to totally go down.

Anyway, so I am alive, even though I might wish I were not. I hope I never have to do anything remotely as painful as this ever again.

Boring Update

Okay, it has been forever since I've updated (but I have a good reason, I swear). So here's some of the stuff that has happened in the almost four weeks since I last posted.

A Month of Goodies

• According to last week's endoscopy, I have a sliding hiatal hernia. Not sure as to the treatment yet, though they have put me on some acid reducers (hasn't helped yet but then I just started it yesterday). We will learn more details on the 12th when the results of the esophagram I had yesterday are in. (Also, I have pictures, but I really don't feel up to spending the time to get them on here right now - when I am feeling better).


• I feel like a human pincushion - I've had 5 IVs in 4 weeks. Of those 5 IVs, 4 of them included radioactive material so I should officially glow now. Oh yeah, and I drank barium yesterday. I am my own nightlight.


• I am currently on short-term disability so no work for me. Which I feel horribly guilty about, but since I can't even empty the dishwasher without having to nap and/or begging for death, it's probably the right move.


• I have learned that you can, in fact, hit your out-of-pocket max with your insurance in one month. Of course, we have good health insurance, so that out-of-pocket max is just $1,500 but still. One month? I find that impressive.


• Of course the reason I have hit the out-of-pocket max is all the things that have happened in the past month (in no particular order)... Ambulance trip to the ER, stress test, chest x-ray, blood tests, CT scan, celiac panel, HIDA scan, abdominal sonogram, esophagram and endoscopy. I think that's everything. Of course, that is excluding the multiple doctor and specialist visits I have had. Pretty much now I'm either sleeping on going to the doctor for an appointment or the hospital for tests.


• After a month of this, I am getting whiny (like you couldn't tell that) and grumpy.

Anyway, that's basically what's been going on. Sorry for those that have not gotten calls or emails returned. Most of the time I lose my breath so easily on the phone it is not comfy to talk and sitting up enough to type quickly causes me chest discomfort. Thank goodness for Xanax, though - the only reason I can type this blog right now and just be a little uncomfortable. Apparently it relaxes smooth muscle, which is what your GI track is so I'm thinking that maybe the hernia slides back down-ish to a more normal and comfortable position?

But enough of the health whine. GREAT hockey news! THE DUCKS HAVE WON THE STANLEY CUP! That's right, baby. Stanley cup! WOOOOO! I told Dan that they'd win the Western Conference in 6 games (and they did) and the Cup in 5 games (and they did)! So good job, boys! I was so happy, I cried. Yes, I admit it, I cried. Just a few tears - nothing like Teemu who had tears running down his cheeks while being interviewed. But then he's waited 15 years to hoist the cup. And you can bet that pictures will be posted of cuppy-goodness in the future.

GO DUCKS!

Oh, and one more thing before I go recline in a non-typing-friendly position. Harry Potter comes out next month (both movie 5 and book 7) so I've been surfing to see what news is out. I ran across some fanfic and one livejournal that takes the worst fanfic summaries and lists them for others to basically MST3K. It's really in the comments that it is hilarious. Some of them kill me. But it is long, so maybe best if you have nothing else to do besides sleep or watch horrible daytime TV (which I've been boycotting, it is so bad). Anyway, funny stuff. (Tracy, if you see this, I keep meaning to email it to you but yeah, that hasn't happened. I think you'd get a giggle out of it).

Now, I'm off to nap.

Medical Goodies, Take 2

Well, since the cardiologist has no idea what to do with me next, he's signed off on me and it is officially not a heart problem (except for the IST arrhythmia, which I still have (as proven by going off my meds for the stress test) but that's under control with the medication).

So now we get to go to other specialists. Today we (Dan and I) went back to my GP doctor and he's going to order 3 more tests. Two, a sonogram and an HID (I think) to check to see if it is my gallbladder and then an endoscopy to see if it is a hiatal hernia. Woo hoo.

Until then, though, the doctor gave me some goodies, uh, I mean medication, to deal with my symptoms. Xanax (as a muscle relaxer/happy pill) and also something else I forgot the name of but that is for OCD stuff so that hopefully it will stop me thinking about the pain/pressure when it happens. Which totally works for me because I start feeling the pressure in my chest and it gets bad and then I have trouble walking and standing and it becomes all I can focus on because it is so awful. Anyway, this OCD medicine should help me be able to not focus so much on it.

Today is day one on the Xanax and let me say, I LOVE this stuff. The pressure in my chest is a not insignificant amount, but I so don't care. Hard to breathe? Whatever. I'm good. Dizzy. Whatever, dude. I'm happy.

Dan says I'm a little loopier than makes him happy, but again, don't really care because this is the first time in a long time that the pressure getting bad in my chest doesn't worry me. For the first time in weeks it finally feels like this pain/pressure crap is not running my life. Rock on Xanax.

Disadvantage, though - I've been a little less restrained today (the 4 hours I've been awake). Just a wee bit buzzed. But again, so don't care. Every so often I notice my chest is hurting but oh well. Worst case scenario, I end up passing out from the pressure and dizziness and I have to go on another ambulance. But I so learned my lesson from last time - now I'm shaving my legs every time I shower. Never again (hopefully) will an EMT (or anyone else) have to put an electrode on my legs when I haven't shaved in 3 days. So embarrassing!

Oh, and in other new that makes me happy (besides the Xanax), I saw a chicken out side the doctor's office!

Chicken!

We have no idea where this chicken came from (no idea who in town owns chickens) but it was a very handsome chicken and it clucked as Dan chased it to get a good picture with his camera phone.

First off - my husband rocks because he will chase a chicken to get a picture for me.

Second - if I could have regular and frequent chicken + clucking doses, I so would not need the Xanax because chickens ROCK!

Study of Electrodes

Recently, I have learned way too much about the little electrodes they stick on you to monitor your heart. Just since Monday I've got to experience 3 different ones. I have so much residual sticky from them, I'm starting to feel like the human post-it note.

What I have learned is that the ones from the ER that they put on your hips are the most difficult to take off. Lots of residual sticky and dude, taking them off HURTS. The ones they put on you in the ambulance are by far the best. Soft and very easy to come off with almost no residual sticky. The stress test ones are right in the middle - somewhat painful to take off and a decent amount of residual sticky.

From left to right: Electrodes from the stress test, ambulance and ER

I've also noticed a bothersome trend with electrodes lately. They keep increasing. The first heart monitor I had (horrible residual sticky) was made up of only 2 electrodes. The 24-hour monitor I had (decent residual sticky but oh so ouch to take off) had 4 electrodes. The stress test had 10 electrodes. The ambulance had only 6 but once those were combined with what the ER put on me, I had a total of 12. With that pattern, if this problem keeps on, one day I will just be covered from head to toe with electrodes.

And let's not even discuss the insane amounts of residual sticky from the little foam tapes they used to take the IV line to my arm.

Oh yeah, I went to the emergency room yesterday. I'm guessing you caught that? Yeah, had a little (okay, big) thing at work and got the ambulance called. I just LOVE embarrassing myself at work like that. Anyway, I took today off to try to hunt down some doctors and follow up but so far I'm not having any luck. My GP doc is out sick and the cardiologist's office isn't open yet.

But on a funner note, while spending 6 hours in the ER yesterday, Dan took a picture of me eating a boiled egg.

Eating a Boiled Egg in the ER

It was a good boiled egg.

Two Weeks of Updates

(Edited: Now with pictures! And more text - because, yeah, it wasn't long enough.)

Lots has happened in the past two weeks. I've been meaning to make this post for the past 4 days, but I just haven't had the time, energy or inclination. But I need a mini-break from all the work that has piled up on my desk, so I figured now is a great time to post.

I do have some pictures at home that I'll post (hopefully) later tonight and if not tonight that sometime this week.

So now, in no particular order, updates:

Duckie Goodness
Well, the Ducks won the Conference Semifinals against the Canucks in 5 games. Go Ducks! Their next game is Friday against the Red Wings in the Conference Finals. I hope that all the time off they've had (like a week) won't cause a problem. Sometimes they can get a little rusty. But I'm still looking forward to it. The last step before the Stanley Cup Finals, baby! Woo hoo!

Celiac Mama
My mom was officially diagnosed with celiac disease last week. It is basically a wheat gluten allergy, but it isn't like one of those "sweet" little allergies that make you puffy or break out in hives. Any hint of wheat gluten into her system and her small intestines basically start destroying themselves leading to gastro-instestinal damage, malnutrition and intestinal cancer.

Yes, it is an "allergy" that leads to cancer.
(Edited: I actually just looked it up and it is described as an immune system disorder. Okay, that does make much more sense.)

To prevent all this from happening and to reverse the damage that has already been done (which will take about 2 to 3 years to repair), she has to stay away from any food that has wheat gluten or something derived from wheat gluten in it. At first, it seems simple. Oh, avoid breads, pastas, chips, etc. No problem. No - it is more than that. Anything that has been prepared on the same surface as a wheat product is a no-no (she can't order just a hamburger patty at her local burger joint because they toast the buns on the same grill they cook the patties). Also, anything with maltodextrin in it (a wheat derived product) has to be avoided. I dare you to look at ingredient lists for a day to see how much stuff has maltodextrin in it. Even antacids have it! Sugar substitutes have it so anything with Splenda is outlawed as well. Some mustards and soy sauces are no-nos as well as some natural flavorings and colorings. So unless she knows that the flavorings, colorings, soy sauce, etc that has been used in an item is gluten-free, she can't eat it. And then even if the product itself doesn't have wheat or maltodextrin in it, they could use wheat flour (or something with gluten) to dust the belts in the processing plant! Are you starting to get an idea of how hard it is for her to find anything to eat other than fresh fruits and veggies? And man cannot live off of fruits and veggies!

Oh, and the true joy of the whole situation: celiac can run in families. So I have to be tested for celiac, as well. When I was at the hospital yesterday, I got my doctor to call in orders for a celiac panel so now I just need to wait for the results (which I'll get in about a week). Wheee!

And speaking of being at the hospital...
Yes, I was at the hospital yesterday, but it was a scheduled thing so no worries. I had my stress test yesterday. It wasn't too bad - more waiting than anything. But they did stick an IV in my WRIST!!! and I had to keep that in for about 4 hours. So not fun. The really not fun part came in that I couldn't take my medication for 48 hours before the test.

The treadmill part of it was blissfully short. My heart rate needed to get up to 160 bpm and the tech said it should take about 10 minutes. I told her it wouldn't take near that long since I couldn't take my medicine that I use to, you know, slow my heart rate. The morning of the test, my heart rate got up to 130 just brushing my teeth. (On the medication my resting heart rate is about 85 or so, which is on the high end of normal.) Anyway, it took 4 and 1/2 minutes for my heart to get up to 170 bpm. Yikes. The tech said that was the easiest test she had done - my heart rate got up there so quickly. I told her that the reason I went on the medication is my heart rate would go up to 160 when I just walked to the fridge to get water. She was a little surprised, to say the least.

Anyway, the doctor is reading the tests sometime today and I should get a call in the next few days from someone. I also have a follow up with my normal cardiologist next Thursday. And if they don't find something on this test or the celiac panel that was done, I'm not really sure what I'm going to do. Thankfully it looks like the problem has stabilized so I am still able to work. But Dan's been taking me to work because I have lots of problems if I'm not able to take about a 4 hour nap in the middle of the day. So something is going on still and someone has got to figure out what it is. Before I kill someone.

Speaking of killing someone...
I am so grumpy when I travel. For someone that loves to be in new places, I sure hate getting there. But our trip last week to St. Louis was actually okay. I was totally wiped out from the trip (even though we flew) and on the way back home, I wasn't able to take my medicine so I hated life (and poor Dan bore the brunt of that). But the part in between the travelling bits was actually pretty good.

We went to St. Louis for Dan's cousin's wedding and it was a bonus that the whole family was there so we got to see everyone and visit a bit.

David and Bridget (aka Bride and Groom, well, actually Groom and Bride) had a Catholic wedding in a lovely church (I love any place with stained glass, though). Me and Catholicism don't really get along (thanks private school), but it was still neat.

Handsome Usher Dan at the Church

Of course it made me think of my wedding so I started to tear up - but not in the aw-isn't-that-romantic way. More like the I-remember-how-much-I-totally-freaked-at-my-wedding way.

They also had a fun reception with silly toasts, a good buffet and dancing (though no chicken dance, much to Dan's disappointment).

Reception

I actually got to slow dance with my hubby so a good time was had by all. (I did also get semi-stalked by a little kid, but that's a whole 'nother post - and she didn't try to do my hair like she did with Dan at the rehearsal dinner/party).

At the Reception

Other fun stuff, we got to meet my in-laws new(er) kitty, Max (who is a little psycho, Princess-style) and get to know Simone (who is a doll and a half).

Mad Max

Sweet Simone Lovin'

We also got to play a little with my sister-in-law's babies, Duncan and Molly (who has an extra toe that I think is an opposable thumb!).

Leah's Chunky Dunkie

Molly - Check out the Opposable Thumb!

We also went to a Cardinals baseball game. Now, I'm not a big baseball fan (go hockey!) but I did have a good time. The energy is totally different from a hockey game. Much more social, slower pace. I can see why it is a summer time sport (well, that and if hockey were a summer sport, the ice would melt).

Me, Dan and Leah

It was a fun game and I'd totally go to another one but I'd prefer it if the home team didn't get demolished. Yep, Cards lost. 13-0.

Ouch. But Go Astros!

Yikes. But at least it was against the Houston Astros so a Texas team won. Dan didn't like it when I would clap for the Astros. I cheered for the Cardinals, too, though!

Pujols at Bat (I swear)

Can I just interrupt for a moment and say, stadium food prices are total high way robbery. $4.75 for a 1 pint bottle of water! Dan and I get a case of 17 oz bottles at Costco for 50 cents less than that! And I won't even talk about how much our lunch cost. I don't know how those concession people sleep at night. Anyway....

I even got a little more tourist-y stuff in while in St. Louis. Or one thing.

The Arch from outside Busch Stadium

Yep, saw the arch. Go me! As the man behind us at the game said, "It's an arch, not an arc. Do you see Noah around?"

Oh, Dan just reminded me. We saw the funniest thing on the way to the stadium for the game. Two college-age, maybe slightly older guys standing on a street corner. One looking across the street, the other focusing on the sidewalk asking if people had an extra ticket. The one looking towards the street suddenly burst out with a "HAMBONE!" Without even looking at what the other was doing, both the street and sidewalk guy simultaneously throw up their arms in a "the field goal is good" kind of way with the sidewalk guy joined in with the "HAMBONE!"-ing. It was the weirdest thing and so made me want to study college frat guys to see if there was some sort of mind meld that enabled them to do things like that. I hope I never forget that image because without fail, it makes me giggle when I think of it.

As nice as it was to get away from work and visit with Dan's family, it was great to get home, see my babies, and sleep in my own bed. But mostly seeing my babies. I missed them! Just thinking about it makes me want to go home and hug a kitty.

Whew, so this short break from work has turned out to be rather long, so I suppose I will finish off there. Hopefully, I will put some pictures up tonight but if I don't, I'll get them sometime. (edited: Woo hoo! I did get pictures up tonight!) Most of them are St. Louis pictures, but the Big Girl did get a haircut last night so I will add those two even though it isn't related to the St. Louis trip (or anything else I have thus far blogged about today).

Lion-cut Big Girl

A Kitty's Worth of Hair

And one picture that I had to add:

Ain't he cute? Hehe!

HAMBONE!

Kill Me Now

Wow, almost 2 weeks since I have updated. Shame on me. Quite a change from updating a couple of times a week.

In my defense, I have felt like utter monkey pooh. But I figured it was time to post so people could be reassured that I have not, in fact, dropped off the face of the earth. So, without further ado, updates:

Hockey
Okay, it might say something about my priorities that are a bit off since I just got back from the cardiologist and yet the first topic on my blog update is hockey. But this is the playoffs, baby. All other things take a back seat.

So, the Ducks didn't sweep the Wild in the First Round like I thought they would - they let the Wild win 1 game. But I can totally deal with the series going to Game 5. It gave the Ducks a nice rest before Round 2, which started last night. They are playing Vancouver and, if last night's game was any indication, this will be a very one-sided series. Ducks won 5 to 1. Ouch. Poor Canucks, huh? But I don't feel bad enough for them to want any of the next games to be any different. I am interested to see what happens in the Red Wings/Sharks series since the Ducks will play the winners. Not sure if I am interested enough to watch it, though. That could cut into some serious nap time.

And speaking of nap time...

Cardiologist Stuff
Yeah, as expected, the results from my last heart monitor thing were normal. Woo freakin' hoo. So we still don't know what exactly is going on. But I maintain if it keeps getting worse, I will no longer be able to drive, much less hold down a job. Dan's even driven me to work a couple of times. It's nice because then I can nap on the way home.

Anyway, the cardiologist said that when people come in with the symptoms I am describing, they usually have coronary heart disease. But due to my age and lack of strong family history of early heart disease, he thinks not so much. But he wants me to take a stress test just to make sure.

That's right. A stress test. Yet again, woo freakin' hoo. So Monday, May 7th, I will be injected with radioactive material and made to run on a treadmill. I. Am. So. Not. Excited.

The cardiologist did say that he is more inclined to think it is asthma. So I guess if the freakin' stress test doesn't show anything, I'll have to go back that route. The pulmonary function test I took back when came out fine which would indicate it isn't asthma, but apparently it doesn't always show up on those. Back when, I was using Advair and that seemed to be helping, though after the PFT showed up okay, the doctor said it most likely helped just because it was clearing up some inflammation issues left over from my last bout of bronchitis.

Anyway, the cardiologist suggested that I get back on the Advair to see if it helps, so I picked some up today and took my first treatment this morning. It is hard to tell if it is helping. Pressure-wise I'm probably hanging out at a 7 now, with forays into 6-dom, but I had a lovely spike into the town of 9 that made me start yet again contemplating exactly when I needed to have someone take me to the emergency room (the only thing Dan and I can totally agree on is if I do manage to pass out, I'm going). And yes, I've been rating my "discomfort" the past 2 weeks. I'm trying to find a pattern - if the pressure relates to how much sleep I get, if I have sugar, caffeine, if I exercise. So far - no pattern.

Okay, where was I? I got sidetracked.... Oh yeah. Asthma. Basically, the cardiologist said we could play around with which medication I am on (breathing-related or heart-related) but it was "a crap shoot" so he decided to leave me on the heart stuff and add the Advair to see if it helped. Yeah.

Anyway, I guess we will know more after the freakin' stress test. Oh, and did I mention the true joy that will be for the freakin' stress test? I have to stop taking my heart medication for it. I take the test Monday and I can't take the meds Monday or Sunday. Yeah, no meds AND a treadmill. I'm so going to pass out.

Okay, enough of that junk. Fun stuff...

KITTIES!
The babies are doing wonderfully. Princess keeps trying to eat Chloe and has been thinking about making a Bitty-snack, but otherwise is good. Cocoa is doing great with no teeth. Ashes is sweet, as always and Nibby has been super-balancy. Gidget is one giant fluffer kitty and I'm thinking about shaving her for the summer (shh! don't tell her that!) and Happy is her insane but lovable self. Yay for healthy and happy kitties!

Smile for the Day
And now for something that makes me happy: Cuteness! On that site, you can find adorable little pictures and videos that will make you definitely go "aww".

And with that, I'll leave you some supercute for the day:

It'll fit - I swear!

Forgot to Mention....

Okay, this may be hard to read, but this is our fantasy hockey bracket:

Pink Monkeys Rule!

The Pink Monkeys won! And who, you may ask, are the Pink Monkeys? Well, honestly, if you are asking that then why are you reading my blog because you obviously have no idea who I am.

So go me for winning it all in fantasy hockey! Especially since I got so frustrated with stuff that I barely even looked at it about 1/2 way through the season.

Now, if only my real-life team could win it all, I would be a happy camper! Go DUCKS! (Currently they lead the series 2-0 against the Wild).

In other news...
There are also other exciting things going on in my life right now besides winning the fantasy hockey league.

First off, I got hooked up to another heart monitor on Thursday. Woo-freakin'-hoo. This one was a 24-hour monitor, not an event monitor like the last one. So I only had to wear it 24 hours. Which was good because instead of 2 little electrodes like the event monitor, this one had five and a big ole black cable that was impossible to conceal. Total pain in the rear.

I go back to the cardiologist the 26th to see if anything new popped up on the results. He had me hooked up to a monitor again because the past three weeks I've had a horrible time, heart-wise. It feels like I'm not even taking my medicine (no, I am taking my meds, it just feels like I'm not because they don't seem to be doing anything anymore). So the doctor wants to make sure that we are dealing with the same problem as before. Then he will decide what to do.

Secondly, Gateway totally sucks. Never again will I buy another Gateway. Ever. I would rather set my eyebrows on fire than willingly pay to own such a piece of junk. One week (almost exactly) after getting my computer back from Gateway service (they replaced the fan which apparently stopped working so my computer would overhead and crash - that was fun), my hard drive went out. And not like before when it was starting to crash but we had enough time to rescue most of the information (I think I lost like 3 files). But totally, completely crashed. As in, Dan didn't think he'd be able to get ANY information off of it. Finally, though, if he held the hard drive still and at just the right angle and the rings of Saturn aligned properly with Uranus, he was able to access the drive long enough to grab some of the files that had changed since my last computer back up.

Dan is my hero.

And not just because he managed to get my info off my hard drive (though he's a miracle worker for that - any time the drive ran, it would sound a little like a small food processor trying to grind up rocks that were covered in caramel), but because he had an extra laptop hard drive in his car that he imaged with my last computer back up so my computer is still up and running while I am waiting for Gateway to send me a new drive. And then when I get the new drive, he will image that one so it will be like the crash never happened. Except for my abiding hate for all things Gateway.

Anyway - total hero. I just love having a systems tech in my house. Oh, and the totally awesome thing, he's the one that calls Gateway, tells them what is going on and within 5 minutes has them agreeing to send a new hard drive or send a box in for service. When I call, they make me walk through all these stupid steps - reboot, run a check, blah blah blah. For Dan they just smile, nod, and send stuff. It's so cool.

Thirdly, guess where Dan and I will be tomorrow night. At the American Airline Center, watching the Stars and Canucks. That's right - playoff hockey, baby. I got 2 tickets free from work (go ABM for taking care of the person that makes sure their $27k monthly invoices are paid on time!) I'm so excited to see live playoff hockey. Even on TV, playoff hockey has a totally different energy. Right now the series is tied at 1-1 so I think it would be exciting for the Stars to win and pull ahead in the series.

Fourthly, I'm sure there is something else, but I can't think of it. So that is all.

Sucks For You, Dial-up Users

Turns out this post is going to be pretty picture intensive. So sorry about that to anyone who's still on dial-up. You should get DSL at the very least just so my blog updates load quickly.

So let's get started (you can read while you wait for the pictures to load).

The Cocoa News

Toothless Cocoa

Cocoa is doing really great. The swelling in her mouth has gone down even more so now she is starting to look a little like an old lady with no dentures. It isn't horribly obvious, but if you had known her well before, it is pretty easy to see, especially from the side. She no longer has a square little mouth. It is more 3-shaped.

She hasn't seemed to have any problem eating, though we haven't seen her eating much dry food recently. But then, the kitties constantly get food when we aren't around to notice, so we aren't worried. We are feeding her some canned cat food everyday, too, so she won't go hungry.

As soon as I am finished with this blog, Cocoa's primary source of pain killer will be removed. She kept her little morphine patch on for 72 hours. Now, we are switching to pain pills twice a day as needed.

The feel good patch

Cocoa goes back to the vet later this week for a check up to see how things are going along. I'm sure I'll post more after that!

Gesundheit!
Allergy season is upon us, which means things are in bloom - including our yard! The first iris has come out and the Lady Bank's is just going crazy! It's been 4 years, but I think our back yard is really starting to look nice. I'll have to post some pictures from past years later, but for now, here's what's currently going on outside.

The rosemary and Lady Banks have really taken over the corner bed

The first iris of 2007 (for my yard, at least)

The Lady Bank's rose started blooming Thursday

Lady Bank's bloom

Our Gala apple tree has started to bloom

Very pretty, yes? Our grass is another story, but at least we have the flowers to move your eye away from the weed-filled grass.

Well, now that you've seen those lovely pictures, next we have...

Icky Foot Stuff
And this one is a little late, but I just realized I hadn't posted this picture. This is Dan's foot about 1 week after his surgery.

Eew, huh? It looks much better now, but then, that's not too hard.

And those are the updates for today. Do you have DSL yet?

You need to know this....

Okay, first off, I have delayed posting about Dan's surgery from last Friday because I have no pictures. I am disappointed that I forgot my camera and thus missed out on the classic picture of Dan's feet pre-op. His right foot had "No" written on it and his left had "Yes". It was really funny to see, but on paper, not so much. *Sigh*

The docs removed the bone spur and cut out the ganglion thing, which actually turns out not to be a ganglion but rather gout. They sent it to a lab to check so we'll know soon (I guess). And yes, I laughed when the doctor told me. I mean, come on! It's GOUT, people! It's still funny!

The Gout

Anyway, Dan is doing good. His toe is all wrapped up and he's wearing a little boot thing which looks really uncomfortable but better than closed-toed shoes. He's got a check up on Monday so maybe the boot can come off (though maybe not). Until then, his new name is Gimpy. He even answers to it.

But now on to the important stuff - something to make you smile. And before you ask, yes, I am a dork and that is why I'm posting these (number 7 and 8 are my favs).

Now on to the funnies:

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't Work?
A Stick

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog

18. What Kind of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

And just so you can't say I never taught you anything, did you know that there are more chickens than people in the world?

Yep, now you know.

Gang defeated by Spur

(You know, it is really too bad Dan doesn't have a bone splinter instead of a bone spur. "Gang(lion) defeated by (Bone) Splinter" sounds so much more anti-terrorist.)

Yes, Dan has a bone spur. That's the big bulge on his toe. He went to a doctor today that gave him the news - and a print out of his x-ray. More doctors should do that. I think people would be more likely to go if they knew they'd come home with a souvenir.

Anyway, this:

The bulge formerly known as "ganglion"

Is caused by this:

Dan's toe is half evil - it has a horn

Ouch, huh? Dan's going to have to have surgery to remove his horn, uhm, bone spur. Not sure when yet, but we do know that he'll get to wear a little invalid boot for a while until the stitches come out. An opened-toed boot. Totally off topic - it was 37 degrees here this morning. Brrr!

More bone spur updates as they happen. Keep it tuned in here!

(And I would like to apologize for the slightly crack-mad tone of this post. I'm pretty freaked out about my Cocoa kitty so I'm a little batty).

Multi-purpose Post

So much news, so few blog posts. I will try to catch up on everything with this post - beware, I'm sure it will be long.

Yay for Heart Arrhythmias!
As of last Thursday it is official - I have a heart arrhythmia. YAY!

Yes, it seems odd to be cheering for being diagnosed with a heart arrhythmia, but I'm just so happy to have an official diagnosis - and one that doesn't include "crazy" anywhere in it. Woo hoo! And "heart arrhythmia" sounds scary, but what I'm dealing with is like the cute little yappy, ball-of-fur puppy of heart arrhythmias.

Aww! Look at the cute little arrhythmia!

It's not fatal - the symptoms of it (the heart racing, shortness of breath, dizziness) are the only things I really have to deal with or worry about and, while they are a total pain in the behind, it is still non-serious. Also, this type of arrhythmia (yes, it is officially IST) is self-limiting - in other words, it'll eventually go away on its own. Until then, we are trying different meds to see what is working. I think we might have hit on something that actually works on the first try (at least the first try with this doctor - fourth try total, but who's counting). This weekend I was able to get laundry done, vacuum, clean the porch and even get in 5 hours of shopping! I haven't felt up to doing half of that in a long time.

Which brings me to...

Why My House is Clean
Okay, so my house isn't 100% clean yet. I need to do a thorough cleaning of litter areas in the house and I'd like to wash the shower curtain in the guest bathroom, but the house is still pretty darn clean after yesterday - Dan and I worked a lot of getting it in to shape. Why?

Because my friend Mizu is coming to visit! YAY! She'll get here on Friday and she'll stay until the next Friday. So I'm taking next week off of work to show her around the area. We'll do the longhorn cattle drive, the rodeo, the JFK museum at Dealy Plaza, a hockey game, spend the nice in quaint little Graham, and also I'm going to try to get her to Rocky Top where she can ride a horse. And that still leaves us 2 "free" days! She'll be very tired when she goes back to Japan!

Croc Hunter
How sad is this? I know it is old news now, but I just loved Steve Irwin. Yes, he was crazy and he took way too many risks for my television-viewing comfort, but that was part of his charm.

I mean, friends always joked when watching him that he was going to get eaten by an animal, but we were thinking more along the lines of a komodo dragon taking off a limb when he was curled up on the ground near a wad of them. Not a stingray. Even Jack Hanna said that you could have lined up 50 animals and a stingray would be the last one he thought would kill Steve.

It's just all so sad. I feel so bad for his wife Terri, and his kiddos Bindi and Bob (though I still think "I can't believe they named the daughter after the dog" everytime I read Bindi's name). And the "I told you so" people tick me off. Steve didn't deserve getting a hole poked in his heart by a stingray because he would pick up snakes and jump on top of crocodiles. That's absurd. Yes, you can take that stance if croc bites a finger off, but otherwise, stuff it. Grr!

Anyway, it is all very saddening.



I'm thinking there was one more topic I had to cover, but I can't remember it now. Short attention span.

Oh, which for some reason reminded me....

I just finished a hilarious book yesterday. Jasper Fforde's The Big Over Easy. It's the first one of his "Nursery Crime" series. I've read his other 4-book series, Thursday Next, and it was really good and I loved 'em, but I think I enjoyed "The Big Over Easy" even more than that series.

Basically, Humpty Dumpty is found after - what else - falling off a wall and breaking into 126 pieces. Detective Jack Spratt is head of the Nursery Crime Division, an underfunded and unappreciated department of Reading's police force, so it is his job to determine - was it murder or suicide? And if it was murder, who did it?

I laughed out loud during several parts and had to read out loud to Dan several others. The book contains a beanstalk, a philandering egg, a mad scientist, a washed up movie actress, a snotty super-detective with convoluted cases, evidence tampering, a mythical god (that is a lodger at the Spratts') and a giant wart. How can you ask for more?

It's a doctor themed time in life....

So many doctors to see, so little time.

Dan's pretty much doing the home treatment thing on his toe (which is looking much better!). The doctor wasn't able to suck much stuff out of it because it had solidified too much. Ew. But we are trying to massage his toe every day to get stuff broken up. Again, ew, but it seems to be working.

With that going on, it looks like Dan is done with the doctor for a little bit (they only thing they could do about the ganglion now is to surgically remove it - again, ew).

But I think the Zimmermann family should really do more to support the medical community. So I am doing my part to make sure the area doctors can all drive their Porches and what not. No Toyotas for these guys!

Was it just last week that I went to the doctor? No, it must have been week before. Anyway, he sent me to have an echocardiogram and a pulmonary function test. Both came back fine, but since I was having so much trouble breathing, he put me on two different inhalers - and a sleeping pill but that's so I could sleep, not for the breathing. Anyway, the combo of those things have meant that I've actually slept the entire night through for several nights. Ah - bliss! It has been so long since I've been able to do that.

Anyway, the GP doc sent me to a cardiologist to check out the electrical workings of my heart since the echo was good (so structurally I'm a-okay). Went to that guy yesterday. He was nice - his pants were too short and he was wearing white footies with beat up clogs, but he didn't seem at all like the other cardiologist I had been to back when all this started. I think that guy just wanted to get me out of his office. Anyway, the guy from yesterday said it definitely sounds like I have "inappropriate sinus tachycardia". It doesn't sound like it should be a real problem - more like a rude allergy issue. But apparently it is and from the searching I did on it today, I can just tell you I am shocked at how closely everything I have read about it matches me.

I wonder if my heart is pastel colored?

BUT - it's not for sure that's what is going on, so don't start holding your breath yet. I go back to the same office but to a different cardiologist on next Thursday. This guy specializes in the electro-whatever aspect of the heart so he should be able to figure out why it is going if IST is what is going on.

I hope that's what it is. It's a non-deadly, fairly unserious heart thing. And it would finally give me, give all of us, answers. Treatment for IST is either medicine (which my searching gave me a few things to ask about instead of beta blockers, which doctors keep trying to put me on and it just doesn't work well with me) or surgery or to ignore it. Well, the ignoring it thing hasn't worked for the past year and a half so I think we'll try the medicine route first. Especially since the surgery, while simple, apparently has something wild like an 80% recurrence rate. IF it is IST. If if if if if.

Of course, I'm kinda worried about what they might have to do to confirm (or disprove) that I have IST. Pretty much they put a catheter in either your neck or groin (or BOTH!) and run a camera-thing around to check out if your heart nerves are going a little wonky. Ugh. The thought of that just makes me twitch with ickiness.

Anyway, that's the medical update here. 4 doctors/hospital visits in as many weeks. WOO HOO! I bet my insurance loves me!

Dan's Ganglion

Okay - I just think this is pretty gross so I had to share it with the rest of the world.

Dan's Ganglion:

Here's hoping he can get it drained soon. By the way, it is smaller (but a little more purple) in this picture than it was when he first went to the doctor about it. I've been massaging it down some to try to get some of the fluid to drain out. Ew. That's love right there.

Gang Trouble

Dan went to the doctor this morning to see about his big toe. There's a big bump on the joint and it has been hurting him a lot lately. Turns out he has a ganglion cyst.

Uhm, eew. But it is better than what I thought he said at first, which was a gangrenous cyst. That would not be cool.

Update Time!

Wow, it's been 2 weeks since I've posted anything on here. I need to be better about that. But not too much has been going on. I've been working on a kitty scrapbook. I have 4 pages done and they are way cute, even if I do say so myself. I guess the scrapbooking has kept me pretty busy. I'm having fun with it.

I decided to post today not only because it had been a while since I posted (though i didn't realize it had been 2 weeks!) but also because Dan and my parents finally beat me into submission and got me to go to the doctor. Yep, I finally went back to the doctor again, first time since about January. Things had been okay for a while but have gotten worse the past few months, so I decided to step on the doctor merry-go-round.

I'm actually kind of hopeful this time, mostly because the doctor is running a ton of test. Lots of blood tests, including testing for autoimmune disease; Lyme disease; hormone levels; and thyroid, liver and kidney functions just to name a few. He's also having me go in for a echocardiogram and a pre/post bronchodilator pulmonary function test. I have the bronchodilator thing on Thursday and they are working on scheduling the ECG. Anyway, I can't help but feel that with all those tests, he should be able to find something. Here's hoping!

Nasty Juice

I can't believe how quickly I am getting over this bronchitis. Usually when I get it, I am way out of commission for three or four days, at least. This time, I was only leveled for two - and at the end of the second day I was well enough to go out to dinner with my parents! Amazing. I really think it is due to the Nasty Juice that I have been drinking since Tuesday night.

Okay, so it really isn't called Nasty Juice. That's just what Dan has dubbed it because, well, it is nasty tasting. I have to do one scoop of the Classic and a half scoop of the Innergize twice a day. Yuck. But hey, it if is what is getting me over this bronchitis so fast, I just might be a fan.

But I'm still going to call it Nasty Juice.

Bronchitis. Again.

Yes, once again I have bronchitis. It seems like I get it every year between October and November (though 2004's bronchitis was pushed to February of 2005). Well, since it is mid-October, my timing is once again spot-on. And man, did it hit quick. Tuesday night my throat started hurting, yesterday I thought I was getting a cold and by this morning the ick had set up shop firmly in my chest. Woo freakin' hoo.

So Dan took me to the doctor this morning where I was loaded down with goodies. The doc gave me samples of a few things to help and tried to give me a cycle of Factive, but I had an allergic reaction to it last time I took it so I said, "Uh, no." Glad to see he reads my chart where it says "Allergies". Anyway, he wrote me a script for something else. So now I get to start developing an allergy to a new antibiotic!