Not quite a puppy pile...

From Cute Overload

Picture-less News

No fun pictures for this blog update (which automatically rules out yet another scrapbook page - aren't you thrilled?).

Anyway, the update for today is after my first real day at work. It was fun. Yes, work was fun. Crazy, huh? I'm working from 8:15(ish) to 4:15(ish). It's not going to a super-challenging job but it looks like it will be filled with all the goodies that I like doing so I think it will be a job I really enjoy. And it helps that the people there seem to be a good group that will be nice to work with.

Of course, the biggest thing that I'm dealing with now is the fact that I have to do it all again tomorrow. My schedule has been so different from day to day since October, but now a big part of my schedule will now be fixed, so that'll be a bit weird.

Yeah, so that's my news today. Woo hoo! Job=fun. I think that's way post-worthy.

Okay, so I felt the need to put in a picture. Couldn't help it. I was going to put a picture of a chicken, but when I found this, I had to post it. I don't know whether to laugh or run away screaming. Who thought this up?

A Chicken Purse

Seriously - someone is selling this. Want one? You can get it here. You're going to get one, aren't you? Don't lie, I know you are itching to carry one of these puppies, uh, chickens, around.

Medical Goodies, Take 2

Well, since the cardiologist has no idea what to do with me next, he's signed off on me and it is officially not a heart problem (except for the IST arrhythmia, which I still have (as proven by going off my meds for the stress test) but that's under control with the medication).

So now we get to go to other specialists. Today we (Dan and I) went back to my GP doctor and he's going to order 3 more tests. Two, a sonogram and an HID (I think) to check to see if it is my gallbladder and then an endoscopy to see if it is a hiatal hernia. Woo hoo.

Until then, though, the doctor gave me some goodies, uh, I mean medication, to deal with my symptoms. Xanax (as a muscle relaxer/happy pill) and also something else I forgot the name of but that is for OCD stuff so that hopefully it will stop me thinking about the pain/pressure when it happens. Which totally works for me because I start feeling the pressure in my chest and it gets bad and then I have trouble walking and standing and it becomes all I can focus on because it is so awful. Anyway, this OCD medicine should help me be able to not focus so much on it.

Today is day one on the Xanax and let me say, I LOVE this stuff. The pressure in my chest is a not insignificant amount, but I so don't care. Hard to breathe? Whatever. I'm good. Dizzy. Whatever, dude. I'm happy.

Dan says I'm a little loopier than makes him happy, but again, don't really care because this is the first time in a long time that the pressure getting bad in my chest doesn't worry me. For the first time in weeks it finally feels like this pain/pressure crap is not running my life. Rock on Xanax.

Disadvantage, though - I've been a little less restrained today (the 4 hours I've been awake). Just a wee bit buzzed. But again, so don't care. Every so often I notice my chest is hurting but oh well. Worst case scenario, I end up passing out from the pressure and dizziness and I have to go on another ambulance. But I so learned my lesson from last time - now I'm shaving my legs every time I shower. Never again (hopefully) will an EMT (or anyone else) have to put an electrode on my legs when I haven't shaved in 3 days. So embarrassing!

Oh, and in other new that makes me happy (besides the Xanax), I saw a chicken out side the doctor's office!

Chicken!

We have no idea where this chicken came from (no idea who in town owns chickens) but it was a very handsome chicken and it clucked as Dan chased it to get a good picture with his camera phone.

First off - my husband rocks because he will chase a chicken to get a picture for me.

Second - if I could have regular and frequent chicken + clucking doses, I so would not need the Xanax because chickens ROCK!

You need to know this....

Okay, first off, I have delayed posting about Dan's surgery from last Friday because I have no pictures. I am disappointed that I forgot my camera and thus missed out on the classic picture of Dan's feet pre-op. His right foot had "No" written on it and his left had "Yes". It was really funny to see, but on paper, not so much. *Sigh*

The docs removed the bone spur and cut out the ganglion thing, which actually turns out not to be a ganglion but rather gout. They sent it to a lab to check so we'll know soon (I guess). And yes, I laughed when the doctor told me. I mean, come on! It's GOUT, people! It's still funny!

The Gout

Anyway, Dan is doing good. His toe is all wrapped up and he's wearing a little boot thing which looks really uncomfortable but better than closed-toed shoes. He's got a check up on Monday so maybe the boot can come off (though maybe not). Until then, his new name is Gimpy. He even answers to it.

But now on to the important stuff - something to make you smile. And before you ask, yes, I am a dork and that is why I'm posting these (number 7 and 8 are my favs).

Now on to the funnies:

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't Work?
A Stick

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog

18. What Kind of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

And just so you can't say I never taught you anything, did you know that there are more chickens than people in the world?

Yep, now you know.